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Lossless

by Ilena

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1.
In Time/I've Been Down 05:12
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I've been out, standing in line It makes me wanna make it, wanna wake up Maybe in time Baby, it's time I've been down this road, driving me crazy Wanna outdo but I fall through Maybe I'm right I'm just a lie You get off putting me off Putting me inside a box In the loft, hold down my heart So it can't get to my head Keep it red Keep it hell-bent Keep your consent I take offence Raised to be held in esteem It's killing me It's killing me (so submit) Self-possessed and mean That's what you get for being part of a scene You get off putting me off Putting me inside a box In the loft, hold down my heart So it can't get to my head Keep it red Keep it hell-bent Keep your consent I take offence Keep it red Keep it hell-bent Keep your consent I take offence I've been down Driving me crazy Driving me crazy Hold down my heart Hold down my heart It makes me wanna wake up Wake up It's killing me It's killing me Me I've been down I've been down (Crazy) I've been down I've been down (Crazy) Wanna outdo but I fall through Wanna outdo but I fall through
2.
Hedonism 02:56
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Beautiful boy I'll love you forever Until you are blue Are you a god? Can you make me new? If you prove it I'll take a chance on you I breathe in your smoke I suffocate while you choke Concentrate on the motions Don't look where we're going Hedonism hurts if you give it a moment A moment I don't want to ruin you forever Like I usually do Blood rushes my cheeks cause I know you see through My ruse, I look down as I free the parachute I breathe in your smoke I suffocate while you choke Back your quietest emotion Could this be an omen? Hedonism hurts if you give it a moment Hedonism hurts if you give it a moment Hedonism hurts if you give it a moment A moment A moment Don't look where we're going Don't look where we're going Don't look where we're going We're golden
3.
Ships Passing 03:35
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I don't mean to slight you I only want you For more than the afternoon Do you share this view? I'd like to unearth you So scared of a ruse Last light fades on the roof Paints you Yves Klein blue Sometimes my words fail Talking to you, wit's to no avail I lose my skin I record everything Even if it's not clear Know I care Sometimes my words fail Talking to you, wit's to no avail I lose my skin I record everything Even if it's not clear Know I care Can't see past my insecurities Security's all I want for you and me Where did I put the key? Still, follow me Even if the door just leads to a dream I'd like to unearth you Timing's all wrong, it's true Last light fades on the roof Darkens my hopes too Sometimes my words fail Talking to you, wit's to no avail I lose my skin I record everything Even if it's not clear Know I care Sometimes my words fail Talking to you, wit's to no avail I lose my skin I record everything Even if it's not clear Know I care Ships passing in the night Worlds collide Briefly bright Somehow I missed your light Swam too deep Didn't see that You were In my reach Still too far out to see That in the night, you passed me You were On the beach There's an island past this sea We can meet and start again We can meet and start again
4.
No One's Around 03:52
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No one's around to listen in The dark breathes hard upon my skin I see this as reckoning Something must change within City rises as a fog On my window when lights are off I cocoon myself a shell No one will help you if you don't help yourself I go out in black attire Dip my head with a smile Give a performance worth their while, still You don't have to say that I owe them debts, I must collect I collect I coalesce I read the books, I know enough It's bittersweet how I know so much In light that I'd never stop This way of life, no, I won't give habits up Tried to be still when up split the dawn These days I sleep with no curtains drawn To my chest, I hold a box It tumbles as I fall This heart so culpable I go out in black attire Dip my head with a smile Give a performance worth their while, still You don't have to say that I owe them debts, I must collect I collect I coalesce
5.
Far Away 03:44
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If you didn't know me, you'd say that I seem To make no mistake Won't catch me in a daze- not while you can see my face I'd rather slip away You're frozen in your tracks, but your skin is not such a changeless cage Dread the mountain, where to begin? And so goes another day You say You're so far away It's like I'm looking at a stranger's face You've not been the same Since December, when you took that plane And now that you've erased yourself Are you happy this way? Aren't you cold? In the rain All the same Oh no, nothing changed It's not what you will Like a halo around me, you pace and you only Speak honestly Everyone has noticed, now you've got the onus To take your grief Change it to belief Watch the leaves fall There's still much to see Then, so suddenly Lights are green You look me in the eye and I know Lack was a pipe dream I'm frozen in my tracks, but my skin is not such a changeless cage Dread the mountain, where to begin? And so goes another day You're so far away It's like I'm looking at a stranger's face You've not been the same Since December, when you took that plane You're so far away It's like I'm looking at a stranger's face You've not been the same Since December, when you took that plane And now that you've erased yourself Are you happy this way? Aren't you cold? In the rain All the same In the rain All the same Oh no, nothing changed Do with that what you will
6.
Phone 02:42
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I don't remember meeting you You say we're mutual friends, probably true I'm sorry if I came across detached When I'm watched, it's hard to relax When she gets off the phone Can you tell that she's hurt? You left your heart on a note I don't think that you'll learn You're on hold Scroll the camera roll She called me up and I felt older I had to tell her I see you all the time And there's no doubt behind your eyes Oh he's doing fine, he's doing fine From the start, he was saying goodbye When she gets off the phone Can you tell that she's hurt? You left your heart on a note I don't think that you'll learn When she gets off the phone Can you tell that she's hurt? You left your heart on a note I don't think that you'll learn She sees that you're not where you ought to be Gave away whereabouts accidentally Baby, just stay don't fade away In 2D, your image is memento mori She sees that you're not how you ought to be Don't even look as you cross the street Our line's breaking up It's not your fault, it's no one's When she gets off the phone Can you tell that she's hurt? You left your heart on a note I don't think that you'll learn When she gets off the phone Can you tell that she's hurt? You left your heart on a note I don't think that you'll learn When she gets off the phone Can you tell that she's hurt? You left your heart on a note I don't think that you'll learn When she gets off the phone And you write her a note Are the pages filled up Or blank as they burn?
7.
Miss 02:58
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Shadows hasten along the street He leans out like he could reach All his notes slip out of tune 'Til it's you in the living room You'd had the question on your lips So insistent you could taste it Let it sit as he arose Watch him turn off from your road And I don't think about it If I can help it But when the sky's like this I miss your touch I miss your love I relive when I held you in the pool Made me feel beautiful Held you in I held you in I held you in I held you in In another key, you visit me Saying that you transposed your needs Say it's a movie, say it's a dream Either way, it's a smokescreen But two feels so good Loving being understood Floodlights, fields, and moon I could never regret you And I don't get too down if I try, you gave due notice Now we laugh about it And I wish you luck I give you up It's dangerous To let one person be enough Held you in I held you in I held you in I held you in
8.
Unless 03:12
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I thought I'd felt all the feelings that were in this life Tried on others' eyes, still too camera shy I will shield you from all I do But I'm not the same as you Oh no, you go Making homes in hearts Like you think it could last You drift out to sea But you're tethered to me Went from make-believe to nights of entropy You're not impressed And I'm selfish 'cause I love the stress And I don't regret the mess Unless I lose a piece of you I'd never ask for your forgiveness Either way, I'd still find no rest He's written on my lips as proof And still I'm not as good as you Oh no, you go Making homes in hearts Like you think it could last You drift out to sea But you're tethered to me Went from make-believe to nights of entropy You're not impressed And I'm selfish 'cause I love the stress And I don't regret the mess Unless You're not impressed And I'm selfish 'cause I love the stress And I don't regret the mess Unless I lose a piece of you Lose the pieces of yourself The pieces that you lost You lose The pieces that you love, you lost You lose You drift out to sea But you're tethered to me Went from make-believe to nights of entropy You drift out to sea But you're tethered to me Went from make-believe to nights of entropy
9.
Believe 03:11
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Trying to find my way through the airport I thought I saw someone like you Empty takeaway box and headphones tied up Anything could remind of who I used to be 'Cause you were me Give me one song Before our denouément Can you hear what you're saying? I can't believe it Can't unsee your silhouettes From the French door Letting my head get too far ahead I see tangled threads of stars crossed red I call you in the night and I feel close again Closing in on hurts unsaid I used to be Swathed in my debris Give me one song Before our denouément Can you hear what you're saying? I can't believe it Can't unsee your silhouettes From the French door Believe in (chance) I can't believe it I can't believe in I can't believe in chance I can't believe your silhouettes From the French door I can't believe it I can't I cant I can't believe it I can't
10.
Silver Tongue 03:38
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There's a part of me that thinks this won't change Change means loss and I'm not down to give you up So I absorb A part of everyone I see Their grief- the defence of being mean And you gleam by the water With your tongue dripping silver There's conversations I'm avoiding with myself Seems closure's an island as far away as health So I talk To walls instead, walk where we first met The swell, the monster under the bed And you gleam by the water With your tongue dripping silver I'll narrate our epilogue The final word's not enough I didn't sense your dread I didn't want it to end I didn't want it to end So I talk To walls instead, walk where we first met The swell, the monster under the bed And you gleam by the water With your tongue dripping silver Silver tongue

about

hold down my heart so it can't get to my head

w/o loss

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released June 4, 2021

Written and produced by Ilena
Mixed by Emily Wheatcroft-Snape
Mastered by Andy A Woodd

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Ilena Auckland, New Zealand

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